We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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