I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
