i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize