Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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