After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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