I have demons in me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize