then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
high people should be assigned attendants
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
