He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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