She is in my trunk
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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