i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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