is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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