Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
