no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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