Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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