ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
