i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize