I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
