I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
