Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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