I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
