whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i drank out of a bidet.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
