She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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