marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
