Well apparently he's into motor boating.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
