it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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