hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
