why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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