you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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