a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize