the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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