on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
