She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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