we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We were destined to go to rehab together
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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