I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
