Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
