that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
