Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
