i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
