the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
