so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize