hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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