I cannot find my penis.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize