So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
