i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
