no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
