I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
