dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
