I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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