I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
