8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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