The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize