Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
