If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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