You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Randomize
