wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
