you would pick up someone in the library
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
