Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize