It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
