im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
