This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
