Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
