god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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